[59]

I'm on Spring Break. It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but I'm hoping it will tomorrow. I've been wasting my time away watching Lie to me* which is a fanTAStic show. In reality, I should be getting ready for my UBC Music audition which is on Saturday. I'm really nervous.

[58] a tiny insight. link from t.

we’ve been friends for what? 3 years? apparently best friends for 2? maybe? that’s what you said anyway. it hurts to know that after all this time, you don’t care what I think. you’re brutally honest, and in an unnecessary way. you never value my opinion, you never want it. so why do I cherish yours? it hurts to know that you don’t value me as much as I value you, all other emotional feelings aside. it hurts to know that in your eyes, we’ll never be on a level field; I’ll always be lower you. you always try to prove it, whether it be through our grades, our smarts, our social lives, our ages. and most of the time, it doesn’t matter, I wave all the usual pain aside. what else can I do at school? you’re just one of a hundred people who hurt me every day. but now, the times where we’re supposed to be honest, and nice with one another. it’s when you hurt me the most. what should I expect? i shouldn’t have expected anything differently. we may put up fronts in front of other people, but I guess you put a front when you’re with me too. it’s really quite painful to know that you’re just like everyone else. you were a nice guy, once upon a time. I guess not anymore. so where does that leave me? the one person that I thought I could rely on at school. and now I have no one. I honestly have no idea why I thought you’d be different, as cliche as that is. I guess all I can do is bear through the next few months, and then I’ll be done. they all just don’t understand.

[57] thoughts.

they don’t even know. they have no idea. sometimes I wish they would all clue in, but at the same time, I don’t want them to find out. to judge me more than they already do. It’s fine. A few months and I’ll have a fresh start.

[56]

I'm becoming more obsessed with Italy. I want to learn Italian. I want to live there. Not in the touristy areas though, where there (excuse the obviousness) are tourists everywhere, and tourists stands. But classic Italy. The way it was all those years ago.

I've been redecorating my room. Slowly. But it'll be finished sometime. I hope.

[55]

Don't be afraid, it's only love.

[54]

Ohmycow. Noah Bartfield's on chat.

[53]

Quote of the Day:

[52]

This deserved a separate post.


Alban Berg. You have ruined my day. What were you thinking in composing such a depressing opera? Wozzeck kills the woman he loves, then drowns himself. To make matters worse, the music heightens every emotion you're feeling, the disgusting dissonances. Ugh.

I come home. Then my mom threatens me to play piano. Life went from one insane high, to.. a moderate low.

[51]

This weekend came and went in a blink of an eye. My Saturday was packed, what with my sister coming home, piano, teaching and hitting the ballet Saturday night. My Sunday was even better. I spent 3 hours standing in the cold, watching this crazy girl scream at cars, 1 hour listening to local talent I don't know (which was actually pretty good) to see AJ Rafael. And Noah Bartfield. Who's ridiculously good looking.

I spent all that time, and another $10 ($35 in total) to spend a good 45 seconds with them. And it was totally worth it. Great live, and super nice people.

[50]

All the hard work and effort put in this entire week finally paid off! Evening of Jazz went spectacularly, and the after party at BP was just...the perfect way to end the night. Friends chilling in the restaurant till 12.

In other news, I am in love with Assassin's Creed 2. So much. I definitely gamed for 2.5 hours today. Like the nerd I am. *Insert typical Asian face here*

[49]

Reaching that breaking point again.